Parents often ask, when should I start talking about college with my child? Or my child is in X grade, what should we be doing if we want her to do her undergraduate studies abroad? They are good questions to be asking – it’s never to early to be THINKING about this – but it is also good to remember that the journey is just as (if not more)important than the destination. As parents there is a lot you can do to help your child discover himself, so that when the time is right, choosing the best-fit college or university will be less stressful, maybe even enjoyable. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The college admissions world has done a great job to build up a lot of expectation, pressure, and stress about getting in to the “right” college or university which has led a lot of families to work hard to check off a series of boxes to help their children become the “perfect” candidate. Perfect is a myth and the most selective universities will back me up on this. What makes students great candidates is authenticity. Therefore, I invite parents to support the unique journey of their children, so that these special young people develop the habit of reflecting on each of their experiences – what interests them, what gives them joy and energy, what they learn from every opportunity, what makes them tick, and how they can keep growing. Can a top-ranked university still be the goal down the road? Maybe. But I hope when you get to the point of selecting and applying to schools with your child, the focus will be on identifying the colleges and universities that best align to the unique talents, interests, and needs of your son or daughter instead of trying to shape them into what we think [insert big name school] is looking for.

So here are a few suggestions for supporting your child’s search for self and for making sure they have the tools needed to attend and be successful in college:

Preschool (or as soon as possible!)

Preschool is definitely too early to be talking to your child about college, but it is the perfect time to begin investing in your child’s future education. It is all too often that families get to the college application process only to find that although their child was accepted into many wonderful universities, they simply cannot afford them. This is an even more common reality for families looking to send their kids abroad. Make a plan today. Even the smallest amount set aside in a savings account each month or invested will add up over time.

How you choose or where you choose to invest this money is a personal decision, but I do want to warn about the the education insurance companies that have become very popular with Colombian families. Yes, I have seen this take a lot of pressure off of a family at the time of choosing a school, but I have also seen it limit options. In some cases, students who had great options abroad ended up staying local because the education insurance was only for Colombian universities. In other cases, families chose to pay the fine for exiting the program so that they could use this “savings” for a university abroad. My suggestion is that if you have the money to invest, choose an option that gives you more control – it will allow you to benefit from all the interest made on the investment and to decide where you spend the money.

No matter what you decide, decide today and let that money start growing.

Elementary School

The elementary years are a great time to reinforce a love of learning and a love of reading. Talk with your kids about their day. Ask them about the mistakes they made and celebrate the learning opportunities that come from them. When children develop a growth mindset, they will be more open to exploring new things and discovering what they like and don’t like, where they have natural talents, and where they need to put in more effort if they want to be successful, and all without the fear of failing, which is a key piece of learning.

Reading is also a habit that will help your children to be better thinkers and better communicators. Set aside time every day for reading, better yet make it a family activity!

Middle School

Middle school is the time to make sure your child knows that college is in his or her future. Share your own experiences and maybe talk to them about the adventure of studying abroad, especially if this is something that you want for your child. The idea of leaving home can be overwhelming, so when possible, take advantage of opportunities for your child to spend more and more time away from you. Many schools have overnight trips that begin with one night away camping in Cota, for example, and eventually turn into a week away in the Amazon Rainforest, La Guajira, or Ciudad Perdida. Summer camps and language immersion programs are also great options, and can be a chance for your child to explore other cultures and international travel separate from you. Of course, family trips abroad are also great ways to explore the world with your kids and have conversations about what they love about visiting other places, and maybe things that are challenging.

During Middle School, encourage your child to keep exploring and reflecting on what defines them as an individual – interests, talents, areas of weakness or difficulties. If your child has never played a sport or an instrument, this is a great time to encourage him or her to try it out, before deciding that they are not musical or athletic.

Finally, Middle School is where you want to support your child to develop strong study and testing skills. This can include using a calendar to keep track of homework assignments, projects, and upcoming exams; having a space at home that is specific to studying and completing school work; and taking time to understand feedback from teachers when an assignment or test is turned back. Some students are better at taking standardized tests than others but parents can support their children in setting themselves up for success – eating well, getting enough sleep, studying so that they feel confident, and trying their best. The world is changing and while many educational institutions are placing less emphasize on standardized tests and more on project-based and experiential learning, these exams will probably not disappear completely. Developing a healthy attitude around testing now, will help your child during their high school years, when their academic performance will matter for college entrance.

High School

High school is really the time that students need to be thinking about college. Many universities require to see grades from the last 4 years of school which means 8th through 11th grade in the Colombian system or 9th through 12th grade in most other international systems. Universities that evaluate students holistically, the United States is the leader in this, will also be interested in a student’s activities beyond the academic – extracurriculars, leadership, volunteer work, and job experience. While much of the responsibility at this point is on the student, as parents, it is good to be aware of what students need to be working on and thinking about and supporting them with this.

• 9th Grade (Freshman year/ 8th grade in the Colombian system) Students need to start high school strong. Grades are the most important component of any college application and the goal is for students to feel that they did the best they could and not have regrets when they begin the college search and application process. Parents can talk to their children about averages and do some sample exercises to show how a low grade will impact the average always. Students also need to make decisions about how they will get involved at school and in their community. Hopefully, through their exploration in middle school they have found areas of interest and talents that they would like to strengthen. These will be activities that begin to help them form their identity. Parents can help their children keep track of these activities so that they can later be a part of their first résumé or CV. Finally, this is the time for students to begin exploring careers. Choosing a major can be an overwhelming task and so it is great to help your child begin to think about his interests, talents, and participation in the community can translate into careers. Help them connect with friends and family so that they can interview different people about their jobs or job shadow them, accompanying them at work for a day to get a better sense of what a lawyer, doctor, chemical engineer, teacher, designer, etc. really does in their day-to-day work. Talk to them about these experiences and help them to reflect on the parts that they found interesting and maybe the tasks that they could not imagine doing. This should be fun and interesting, not stressful or pushy. The idea is simply to get them making connections between who they are and how they might like that to translate in the workforce.
• 10th Grade (Sophomore year/ 9th grade in the Colombian system) In this second year of high school, students need to keep shining. In other words, continue putting forth their best effort in their classes but also finding ways to lead in the areas that matter most to them. In regards to college, this is the year that students should begin exploring majors and considering what they might want to study based on their career interests. Another activity that can help students begin thinking even more about college and where they might like to study is a visit to a college campus. The experience of walking a college campus, seeing older students socializing and attending class, and getting a sense of all the resources that colleges and universities have is a great way to help your child visualize his or her own college experience.
• 11th Grade (Junior year/ 10th grade in the Colombian system) This is the year that students really need to start developing their plan for selecting and applying to colleges and universities. The first step is developing a list of colleges and universities that have many of the qualities that you are looking for – this should be a family conversation where you, as parents, share what you are imagining, but where you also listen to what your child is hoping for. There are many tools and resources for putting this list together, doing the research, and making the decision. This can include meeting with colleges and universities both in-person and virtually. This is also the time to consider the support that you will need (more information on school-based counselors, IECs, and agents here). It is important to note that every country’s timeline for the college application process is a little different, making decisions now about where your child might want to study will ensure that he or she does not miss out on any great opportunities, including scholarships which often have earlier deadlines and require additional steps such as essays or interviews.
• 12th Grade (Senior year/ 11th grade in the Colombian system) This should be your child’s best year ever. Often “senioritis” sets in and students relax a bit and do not put forth their best effort, this is the opposite of what they should be doing. They should earn the best grades, be leaders in the things that matter to them, and make the most of this last year of high school. Parents can help by celebrating the year, staying on top of how their kid is spending his or her time, and reminding them that universities care very much about academic performance in this last year. This is also when students will submit their applications, generally in the first semester of the year (Calendar B), so help them to review their checklist of what they must submit for each of their applications, support them if they are not getting responses from the school registrar or are having difficulties with the online platforms. Again, scholarship applications are a part of this process and the best scholarships and financial aid are going to come directly from the universities – if you know that your child must receive financial support in the form of aid or merit scholarships, be sure that they understand this and are making it a part of their application process. Once applications are in, there will be a waiting period which can be stressful and then the responses will begin to arrive from the colleges and universities. This can be one of the first times that your son or daughter has truly experienced disappointment, because if they have done a good job of building their college list, there will be universities that are a reach for them and so they most likely will receive a no from at least one school. The support and encouragement of parents at this time is key – let your child know that his or her feelings are valid and that these are moments that we all experience at some point in our life, the key is developing a plan to move forward and focusing on the options that are available to him or her. Counselors are a great resource in this moment as well, helping students to weigh the options and arrive at the final decision. As you accompany your child in his preparation to leave home and head to college, be sure to remember and thank those who have helped along the way – those that provided counseling, wrote letters of recommendation, tutored in preparation for exams, and more. I like to encourage students to give hand-written notes to these people; adding this personal touch goes a long way!

Your child’s journey will be as unique as she. As parents, your role is to help your child discover himself and guide him to do his best. This is a long, but beautiful process and when we are intentional about it, the result is a happy, confident young person with a plan for her future. Here’s to enjoying the ride!

Want more information and support on the road to college?

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